Tag Archives: abuse


12 Feb

I have been missing my mom. She’s not dead; we’re just not talking any more. See, my dad is a sexual pervert. He molested me when I was a child (and I just found out, my aunt-his sister), made attempts on my oldest son, and is just creepy around my oldest daughter. For the sake of my mother and my kids I tried to maintain a relationship with them. But a couple of years ago, something came to light and I just had to draw the line. I love my mom, but I won’t knowingly put my kids in danger. So I told her that dad was no longer allowed to be around the kids. But please mom, come here and visit them. She has not. Instead we no longer even talk on the phone, and if we do she just babbles about her quilting group, and what she and dad have done. She never asks about the kids any more. We saw them briefly at Christmas when they dropped off gifts, and she called me about going to Grandma’s birthday party in January. That’s it. It’s been very hard for me and I am so disappointed in my mom. I don’t have many girl friends because I’m not much of a girly-girl and I don’t like to gossip or shop. My best girl friend works a lot (she has no family so has immersed herself in work) so can be hard to reach at times. I have a great husband. But sometimes I need to talk to someone else (especially when I want to complain about my husband!)

Sometimes I think about mom and her family. She married my dad and left Japan, never to look back. She never saw her mother again and only went back for the funeral. She told me later that she married dad to get away. She never saw her family again and it’s looking like I’m never going to see mine. How does something like this happen? I don’t want this trend to continue with my kids. I want to have a relationship with my kids until I die or the world comes to an end. I work very hard at establishing a lasting relationship. I do worry sometimes that I might be working too hard at it. I don’t want to be a freaky control mom either. Sigh.

Okay. Enough whining. On with life…