Tag Archives: moms

11 TED talks for Parents listed on Christian Colleges and Universities Website

30 Sep

I was just directed to an interesting little site. It is a listing and resource for online higher education at a group of religious schools. The list is predominantly Christian, but I think they are trying to be as comprehensive as possible. So this is definitely a site that almost anyone could look into.

And their blog is fascinating. Articles of lists. What a neat concept. And that’s where I found the 11 TED talks for parents. Carl Honore and the “Slow Movement”; Gever Tulley and the Tinkering School; Ken Robinson and an educational revolution (I reviewed this video here on P&E); Laura Trice and the power of “Thank you”; Adora Svitak and what parents can learn from their kids; Kiran Bir Sethi and believing that “I can”; Cameron Herold and allowing entrepreneurship and experimenting in our kids’ lives; John Wooden and the true meaning of success; Stuart Brown and the importance of playing; Liz Coleman and exploring different interests and hobbies instead of focusing on one. It’s a jam-packed list!

The joy of learning you’re going to become a parent is usually followed by a panicked question: “Wait, how do I do this?” The parenting advice business is a big one, with thousands and thousands of available titles for parents to choose from; so many, in fact, that it can tough to know where to start. If you’re a young parent or an old hand looking for fresh advice, these talks from the TED conference might be able to help. They focus on parenting, relationships, and the best way to form and execute the kind of big-picture plans that are vital for parental success.

Read the rest of the article and watch the videos here…

My love/hate relationship with parenting forums

7 Apr

I’ve been spending a little bit of time at Circle of Moms lately. I don’t normally spend a lot of time on forums for several reasons, but it was linked to my Face Book account and several friends had sent me a link. So I checked it out.

Love Me

It’s got a cool layout, and is pretty easy to move around. This is important to me because I easily get lost in forums and that pisses me off and makes me not want to come back. Everything was relatively easy to set up.

Love Me Not

But hanging out in forums is such a time sucker! You can easily spend hours there chattering mindlessly or endlessly clicking on this and that. Then, before you know it, the day is gone and the “to do” list hasn’t even been touched.

Love Me

But hanging out with other people in similar situations is stimulating and encouraging. I get the chance to meet knew people with common goals and ideas and share thoughts with them. I was just telling my grandma the other day how great the computer was because I get to have friends on the other side of the planet and it’s easy to communicate with them!

Love Me Not

But sometimes the conversation turns to drivel. I’ve noticed this happens a lot on parenting forums. The endless nagging and complaining. It can take a lot of effort sometimes to wade through the muck to find one good friend. I enjoy conversation, but I really don’t think life is THAT complicated.

And I don’t enjoy hearing the same complaints (and suggestions) over and over and over again. Do some three year olds like to assert their independence. You betcha! Do they need to be medicated because they have ADHD. No way! (in fact, I don’t believe ADHD is as widespread as it appears. So we need to quit using that as an excuse.)

You really want to succeed as a parent – provide love and support when they ask for it; back off and let them live their own life when they can; teach them the tools they need when they need it; and RELAX and let life happen. Life is a blessing to us all.

Love Me

All in all though. I like the opportunity to meet new people. Especially since there are so few UNSCHOOLING, ALL NATURAL/ORGANIC/WHOLE FOOD EATING, ORGANIC CHURCH MEETING, BREASTFEEDING ADVOCATES and FREEDOM LOVING (all rolled into one) people out there.

Shucks, I think we’re the only home schooling family in my little bitty town. And nobody around here knows about raw milk and grassfed beef. Some days I feel like I’m constantly on my soap box. Finding a group of like-minded people online gives me the opportunity to learn from someone else’s experience instead of always being the teacher.

Are You Really Pro-Choice?

22 Jan

Did you know that midwifery is illegal in Missouri and Illinois (and 11 other states)? The argument is that delivering your baby at home with a midwife is not safe for the mom or the baby. How are they defining safe? 100% success; no deaths. Really. Those success rates are not even possible in a hospital. According to the WHO (World Health Organization) the infant mortality rate in the U.S. is higher than 37 other countries. This is really pretty bad considering the U.S. is supposed to be the icon of success. The U.S.’s higher death rate is attributed to high intervention rates in hospitals and a culture of midwifery in the lower death rate countries.

The truth of the matter is that birthing is natural. Why do women demand epidurals before even delivering one baby? Because they are afraid? I can’t answer that. I was “one of those” women who tried to have as natural a birth as possible. All but one of my children were delivered without any medication or intervention of any kind.

Really, I’m pretty lucky. It’s hard to find an obstetrician in this area at all. Most of them have fled the county because of the high risk of lawsuits and the rising cost of insurance. But I happen to love my OB/GYN. Let me tell you why.

  • She has never tried to pressure me into any kind of extra medical procedure. In fact, when I was pregnant with my last child, Hummingbird, she was going to be unavailable right around my due date. She asked me if I wanted to induce because she was required to offer this option to all her patients. I chose not to induce and she was ok with it. She even said that she expected me to turn down this offer. I ended up going into labor the day she went out of town and her midwife delivered Hummingbird.
  • She hired a midwife into her practice (the same one who delivered my baby). The midwife is a very capable and awesome person. The sad thing was that hiring the midwife caused a huge rift in her partnership. The other OB left and started her own practice down the street.
  • I got to hold my babies and nurse them immediately after delivering. I don’t have to argue or demand it.
  • This is big. When Squirrel was born, we decided not to have him circumcised. She came into my room after he was born to tell me she was getting ready to do the procedure (apparently the hospital had not notified her of our intention). When I said we didn’t want him to be circumcised she smiled in relief and said, “Good, that’s one of the things I hate doing.” This statement sold me.
  • And she always listens to me and speaks to me like a person.

Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky. Everyone has heard the horror stories. But if you believe in choice, really, why not let the momma deliver at home?

I did have one difficult birth. Granted, compared to some it really wasn’t that bad. But I really believe that medical intervention made things more difficult. It was with my second child, Pumpkin. I had already delivered one naturally and was confident I could do it again. Unfortunately my water broke. So off to the hospital we went. The nurse checked the fluids and it was definitely amniotic fluid so I was admitted. She also felt the bag of waters, but it seemed to be intact. Apparently I had a second sac and only the outer one ruptured or the rupture folded on itself and resealed. What to do? They waited to see if labor would progress; but it stalled. Policy is that if the bag breaks the baby needs to come out. So they gave me Pitocyn. Now, I had experienced labor before, but this was different. This HURT. It was unbearable. I finally asked for drugs (a local). But it made it very hard to focus, hard to breathe properly. So next I got an oxygen mask to help me breathe. Labor still wasn’t really progressing, so they broke the waters fully. Then when she did finally come I couldn’t hold her until the drugs had worn off. See how one intervention leads to another, and another, and another.

I have not opted to do the home birth with a midwife. As I said, I like my OB (and her midwife). I also like that I don’t have to worry about cleaning up the mess. LOL But why not? Why not let informed parents make their own choices. The sad truth is that sometimes bad things happen. This cannot always be prevented. So why should a fear of some unknown possibility that probably will not happen prevent us from being allowed to choose. Bad things can happen at home or at the hospital. Ladies, make a birthing plan. Include your partner and your caregiver. Allow for emergencies. Take charge of your body.