Tag Archives: relationships

11 TED talks for Parents listed on Christian Colleges and Universities Website

30 Sep

I was just directed to an interesting little site. It is a listing and resource for online higher education at a group of religious schools. The list is predominantly Christian, but I think they are trying to be as comprehensive as possible. So this is definitely a site that almost anyone could look into.

And their blog is fascinating. Articles of lists. What a neat concept. And that’s where I found the 11 TED talks for parents. Carl Honore and the “Slow Movement”; Gever Tulley and the Tinkering School; Ken Robinson and an educational revolution (I reviewed this video here on P&E); Laura Trice and the power of “Thank you”; Adora Svitak and what parents can learn from their kids; Kiran Bir Sethi and believing that “I can”; Cameron Herold and allowing entrepreneurship and experimenting in our kids’ lives; John Wooden and the true meaning of success; Stuart Brown and the importance of playing; Liz Coleman and exploring different interests and hobbies instead of focusing on one. It’s a jam-packed list!

The joy of learning you’re going to become a parent is usually followed by a panicked question: “Wait, how do I do this?” The parenting advice business is a big one, with thousands and thousands of available titles for parents to choose from; so many, in fact, that it can tough to know where to start. If you’re a young parent or an old hand looking for fresh advice, these talks from the TED conference might be able to help. They focus on parenting, relationships, and the best way to form and execute the kind of big-picture plans that are vital for parental success.

Read the rest of the article and watch the videos here…

Advertisements

My love/hate relationship with parenting forums

7 Apr

I’ve been spending a little bit of time at Circle of Moms lately. I don’t normally spend a lot of time on forums for several reasons, but it was linked to my Face Book account and several friends had sent me a link. So I checked it out.

Love Me

It’s got a cool layout, and is pretty easy to move around. This is important to me because I easily get lost in forums and that pisses me off and makes me not want to come back. Everything was relatively easy to set up.

Love Me Not

But hanging out in forums is such a time sucker! You can easily spend hours there chattering mindlessly or endlessly clicking on this and that. Then, before you know it, the day is gone and the “to do” list hasn’t even been touched.

Love Me

But hanging out with other people in similar situations is stimulating and encouraging. I get the chance to meet knew people with common goals and ideas and share thoughts with them. I was just telling my grandma the other day how great the computer was because I get to have friends on the other side of the planet and it’s easy to communicate with them!

Love Me Not

But sometimes the conversation turns to drivel. I’ve noticed this happens a lot on parenting forums. The endless nagging and complaining. It can take a lot of effort sometimes to wade through the muck to find one good friend. I enjoy conversation, but I really don’t think life is THAT complicated.

And I don’t enjoy hearing the same complaints (and suggestions) over and over and over again. Do some three year olds like to assert their independence. You betcha! Do they need to be medicated because they have ADHD. No way! (in fact, I don’t believe ADHD is as widespread as it appears. So we need to quit using that as an excuse.)

You really want to succeed as a parent – provide love and support when they ask for it; back off and let them live their own life when they can; teach them the tools they need when they need it; and RELAX and let life happen. Life is a blessing to us all.

Love Me

All in all though. I like the opportunity to meet new people. Especially since there are so few UNSCHOOLING, ALL NATURAL/ORGANIC/WHOLE FOOD EATING, ORGANIC CHURCH MEETING, BREASTFEEDING ADVOCATES and FREEDOM LOVING (all rolled into one) people out there.

Shucks, I think we’re the only home schooling family in my little bitty town. And nobody around here knows about raw milk and grassfed beef. Some days I feel like I’m constantly on my soap box. Finding a group of like-minded people online gives me the opportunity to learn from someone else’s experience instead of always being the teacher.

The Pig of Happiness

2 Mar

My kids love this video. If you can stand watching it repeatedly throughout the day, share it with them. It’s a great example of how just being happy can affect those around you and help create a better world. Now how’s that for character development?

Kids and chores – the never ending battle to get things done

11 Dec

three-year old sweeping

When is a child too young to start helping out around the house?

sit... stay... go get it... good girl

sit... stay... go get it... good girl

four-year old measuring pet food

Well, naturally, that depends on the child. But my observation is, if they are old enough to ask if they can help, they are old enough for you to let them help. The key here is that you, as the parent, need to LET them. Oftentimes, we would rather just get it done. It takes too long to watch them struggle through it, we don’t like having to clean up the mess that follows in the wake of their “cleaning”, and they might break something.

fourteen-year old washing dishes

seven-year old shredding cheese

After having four kids the amount of housekeeping required to sustain even the barest minimum of cleanliness consumed almost all of my time. That’s four kids, one husband, myself, and numerous pets (at the moment, one dog and one cat, but we have had as many as two dogs, two cats, and a pair of birds all at the same time).  And why should I be the only one cleaning up after the masses, afterall, I’m not the only one making a mess. So the new regime began – even for the youngest.

three-year old cleaning lint trap

three-year old helping with the laundry

One could make the argument that learning such menial tasks as laundry, cleaning, and washing is counter productive to successful living. This could be hired-out work. Most wealthy and successful people rarely spend their time on housekeeping but hire someone else instead so that their own time and energy can be focused elsewhere. But I firmly believe that everyone should have a basic understand of how to do such menial tasks. At the very least it fosters respect for the work entailed (would you belittle and abuse your housekeeper if you truly understood how difficult the work was). And if you are in dire straights, at least you now how to keep your shirt clean. Taking care of chores is also a great way to foster independence, strengthen self-confidence, and encourage pride in a job well done.

youngest "supervising" the seven-year old cleaning the litter

master "chef" in training

The nice thing about starting out early is that eventually the kids reach a level of proficiency that requires very little oversight and correction. Plus, with so many of them, they help each other out and teach each other.

I finally drew up a little chore chart. But we rarely ever use it because they have already been trained on what needs to be done. The chore chart merely acts as a reminder so that they are able to double check their work.

chore chart

youngest “supervising” the seven-year old cleaning the litter

Moms

12 Feb

I have been missing my mom. She’s not dead; we’re just not talking any more. See, my dad is a sexual pervert. He molested me when I was a child (and I just found out, my aunt-his sister), made attempts on my oldest son, and is just creepy around my oldest daughter. For the sake of my mother and my kids I tried to maintain a relationship with them. But a couple of years ago, something came to light and I just had to draw the line. I love my mom, but I won’t knowingly put my kids in danger. So I told her that dad was no longer allowed to be around the kids. But please mom, come here and visit them. She has not. Instead we no longer even talk on the phone, and if we do she just babbles about her quilting group, and what she and dad have done. She never asks about the kids any more. We saw them briefly at Christmas when they dropped off gifts, and she called me about going to Grandma’s birthday party in January. That’s it. It’s been very hard for me and I am so disappointed in my mom. I don’t have many girl friends because I’m not much of a girly-girl and I don’t like to gossip or shop. My best girl friend works a lot (she has no family so has immersed herself in work) so can be hard to reach at times. I have a great husband. But sometimes I need to talk to someone else (especially when I want to complain about my husband!)

Sometimes I think about mom and her family. She married my dad and left Japan, never to look back. She never saw her mother again and only went back for the funeral. She told me later that she married dad to get away. She never saw her family again and it’s looking like I’m never going to see mine. How does something like this happen? I don’t want this trend to continue with my kids. I want to have a relationship with my kids until I die or the world comes to an end. I work very hard at establishing a lasting relationship. I do worry sometimes that I might be working too hard at it. I don’t want to be a freaky control mom either. Sigh.

Okay. Enough whining. On with life…